the sweet/salty/bitter irony that is life
as i was sitting down to breakfast on the 24th floor of the swissotel in sydney this morning, the irony of the situation struck me. ok...firstly, the reason i was having breakfast up there was because, as stated in my previous post a parental unit, in this case my dad , had come down. it was a working trip. he's in cabin crew in SIA. now, the thing is only senior crew and the pilots are allowed access to the executive lounge, where i had breakfast. so as i was digging into my ball of ice cream looking poached egg, i thought to myself, "here i am having this really nice meal for FREE and the junior crew , if they want to have this same breakfast, would have to pay 15 bucks for it." Quite laughable that when you are junior (ie, poor and scrimping and saving) you have to pay for your meal, but once you become senior (ie, rich enough not to need to have to penny pinch) you get stuff given to you for free.
it's like at banks. they only give you loans if you show proof that you can afford to pay them back. now seriously, if i had the money to be able to afford that bloody thing, why the hell am i trying to get a bloody loan?? no wonder the rich keep getting richer and the poor keep on becoming poorer.
on another note, i was unde the impression that william safire was a republican with his rather hawkish stance at the beginning of the third gulf war (yes, it is the 3rd. the 1st was the iran-iraq war, which was essentially a gulf war, the 91 gulf war was no. 2). anyways i'm digressing. after reading this article (registration required), i'm not too sure what's safire's political stance.
it's like at banks. they only give you loans if you show proof that you can afford to pay them back. now seriously, if i had the money to be able to afford that bloody thing, why the hell am i trying to get a bloody loan?? no wonder the rich keep getting richer and the poor keep on becoming poorer.
on another note, i was unde the impression that william safire was a republican with his rather hawkish stance at the beginning of the third gulf war (yes, it is the 3rd. the 1st was the iran-iraq war, which was essentially a gulf war, the 91 gulf war was no. 2). anyways i'm digressing. after reading this article (registration required), i'm not too sure what's safire's political stance.
high alert
when you know a parental unit is coming over to inspect visit, room cleaning takes on a whole other dimension. firstly, incriminating evidence must be removed. once i've disposed off items i shall scratch them off the list.
booze bottles
pot
pot paraphernalia
dust
stinko socks
condoms
satanic posters
mutilation associated jewellery
porn stash
favourite half falling apart cut offs
ok... all evidence has been removed. let's hope i haven't forgotten anything.
p.s. some items on the list have never been in my room, just in case you're wondering. now you can wonder which of them have actually been in my room
ok... all evidence has been removed. let's hope i haven't forgotten anything.
p.s. some items on the list have never been in my room, just in case you're wondering. now you can wonder which of them have actually been in my room
you live, you learn
things i learnt today.
quote of the day:
"when they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it." - bernard bailey
- the first 4 caliphs of islam are NOT called "enlightened ones", as i wrote down as my answer for my test. actual answer: rightly guided caliphs. dear buddha, forgive me...
- do NOT eat any citrus fruits when you've got cracked lips. might as well rub salt in your wounds.
- bureaucracies are all manageable if you know THE ONE. usually that is the administrator or secretary to some big shot. so be sweet on the admin. they are the ones who can make or break you. they are the doorkeepers to the sanctum sanctorum.
quote of the day:
"when they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it." - bernard bailey
1 step closer to the edge and i'm about to break
it's amazing how i can go to bed completely at peace with the world and then 5 minutes after settling in, i get a panic attack. quite easy to get a panic attack when you've got a thesis due in just under 1.5 months and you've yet to formulate the bloody sub-routine that will enable the optimiser script to spit out results that the CFD program can evaluate... ohh bugger me... doesn't help when you also realise that you've got an essay due next week, and another due in 2 weeks, as well as tutorials. which probably leaves me a grand total of about 4 weeks to write the script AND run the optimiser AND evaluate the results in CFD program, AND repeat the previous 3 steps a few times so that i can use the results and fudge them to provide more iterations. AFTER this is done, there will be the writing up... am i screwed???
bing lee
was listening to the radio and heard a bing lee ad. the jingle goes "i like bing lee's...". bing lee is an aussie electrical appliance store started by this chinese guy. anyways the reason i mention the store is because the jingle used the same music as monty python's "i like chinese". just that they substitute "bing lee's" for "chinese".
and here is the song in its entirety.
The world today seems absolutely crackers,
With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high.
There's fools and idiots sitting on the trigger.
It's depressing and it's senseless, and that's why...
I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
They only come up to your knees,
Yet they're always friendly, and they're ready to please.
I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
There's nine hundred million of them in the world today.
You'd better learn to like them; that's what I say.
I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
They come from a long way overseas,
But they're cute and they're cuddly, and they're ready to please.
I like Chinese food.
The waiters never are rude.
Think of the many things they've done to impress.
There's Maoism, Taoism, I Ching, and Chess.
So I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
I like their tiny little trees,
Their Zen, their ping-pong, their yin, and yang-ese.
I like Chinese thought,
The wisdom that Confucious taught.
If Darwin is anything to shout about,
The Chinese will survive us all without any doubt.
So, I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
They only come up to your knees,
Yet they're wise and they're witty, and they're ready to please.
All together.
[verse in Chinese]
Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.)
Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.)
Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.)
Ni hao ma; ni hao ma; ni hao ma; zaijien! (How are you; how are you; how are you; goodbye!)
I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
Their food is guaranteed to please,
A fourteen, a seven, a nine, and lychees.
I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
I like their tiny little trees,
Their Zen, their ping-pong, their yin, and yang-ese.
I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
They only come up to your knees...
and here is the song in its entirety.
The world today seems absolutely crackers,
With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high.
There's fools and idiots sitting on the trigger.
It's depressing and it's senseless, and that's why...
I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
They only come up to your knees,
Yet they're always friendly, and they're ready to please.
I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
There's nine hundred million of them in the world today.
You'd better learn to like them; that's what I say.
I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
They come from a long way overseas,
But they're cute and they're cuddly, and they're ready to please.
I like Chinese food.
The waiters never are rude.
Think of the many things they've done to impress.
There's Maoism, Taoism, I Ching, and Chess.
So I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
I like their tiny little trees,
Their Zen, their ping-pong, their yin, and yang-ese.
I like Chinese thought,
The wisdom that Confucious taught.
If Darwin is anything to shout about,
The Chinese will survive us all without any doubt.
So, I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
They only come up to your knees,
Yet they're wise and they're witty, and they're ready to please.
All together.
[verse in Chinese]
Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.)
Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.)
Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.)
Ni hao ma; ni hao ma; ni hao ma; zaijien! (How are you; how are you; how are you; goodbye!)
I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
Their food is guaranteed to please,
A fourteen, a seven, a nine, and lychees.
I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
I like their tiny little trees,
Their Zen, their ping-pong, their yin, and yang-ese.
I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
They only come up to your knees...
sticks and stones
i was reading this article by mrbrown and it struck a chord. the saying "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" couldn't be further from the truth. when children are at that highly malleable stage in life, words and looks can leave a lifelong impact. i mean even as adults, we find it hard to manage criticism, what more a child who needs to be nurtured? in schools, kids themselves don't discriminate. they learn it from their parents initially. "eeh... don't go near that funny looking indian boy. after that you also want to have skin like him?" this happened when i was around 9 or 10 and had vitiligo all over my body. actually not really all over. had patches around my eyes and a patch on my chin and elbows and on my lower legs. i was like a young bogeyman!! cool funky shit. i could have been the monster under the bed of that kid who'd eat the kid if he didn't close his eyes and fall asleep. thank god, such instances were few and far between. i'd usually forget that i looked different from the rest, until such incidents occurred, and i must say you don't get used to it. people think that you develop a thick skin towards such things, but that requires a certain amount of maturity that i did not have at that time.
luckily, my face cleared up by the time i got to secondary school and now it is just on my legs where the patches are clearly visible. i'm glad that for the most part, people can look beyond the skin. ignorance breeds fear of the unknown. confrontation doesn't help when you wish to spread the truth, i realise. sometimes i'd like more people to have shallow hal vision. it might make the world a better place...
luckily, my face cleared up by the time i got to secondary school and now it is just on my legs where the patches are clearly visible. i'm glad that for the most part, people can look beyond the skin. ignorance breeds fear of the unknown. confrontation doesn't help when you wish to spread the truth, i realise. sometimes i'd like more people to have shallow hal vision. it might make the world a better place...
p.s.
my last 2 posts were posted online only today (thursday morning) because blogger decided to be wonky yesterday
the muddled east
these are 2 vignettes i picked up during my lecture today from this guest lecturer, hagai segal, who is a zionist, so i don't think he was being anti-semitic.
during the middle east peace conference of 1991, then israeli PM yitzhak shamir during a speech, went on ad nauseam about syria's sponsorship of terrorism. in response, on the following day, the syrian representative pulls out a "wanted" poster which had yitzhak shamir's mug on it. yitzhak shamir had been a part of a terroritst group that was responsible for some assassinations in the 1940s. for details, click here.
during black september when palestinians were fighting against jordan, syria sided the palestinians and sent a tank batallion into jordan. israel, without being asked by the jordanians,sent some planes into jordanian airspace to shoo away the syrians. according to some reports, the syrians turned tail without being fired upon, because they remembered the beating they'd taken when israel took over the golan heights. 1 must remember that what israel did was technically an act of war against jordan, by sending it's planes into jordanian airspace. another thing, jordan and israel were enemies...
during the middle east peace conference of 1991, then israeli PM yitzhak shamir during a speech, went on ad nauseam about syria's sponsorship of terrorism. in response, on the following day, the syrian representative pulls out a "wanted" poster which had yitzhak shamir's mug on it. yitzhak shamir had been a part of a terroritst group that was responsible for some assassinations in the 1940s. for details, click here.
during black september when palestinians were fighting against jordan, syria sided the palestinians and sent a tank batallion into jordan. israel, without being asked by the jordanians,sent some planes into jordanian airspace to shoo away the syrians. according to some reports, the syrians turned tail without being fired upon, because they remembered the beating they'd taken when israel took over the golan heights. 1 must remember that what israel did was technically an act of war against jordan, by sending it's planes into jordanian airspace. another thing, jordan and israel were enemies...
syndication
to anyone who blogs... let's save the readers some time. go to bloglines and sign up for a blog aggregator. once you have done so, you can add all your frequently read blogs to it, so that you don't have to spend however many minutes per day loading all the blogs to see if they've been updated. what an aggregator does is that it collects all the updates from your "subscriptions". it works like the inbox of your email account. btw, bloglines is web-based; there are other locally based aggregators, like sharpreader that you can use.
once you've gotten your blog aggregator, you subscribe to your "feeds" by typing in the "feed" address. my address can be found by clicking
. for those of you who are using bloglines, you can click 
and it will automatically take you to the setup page to subscribe to the blog.
to find set up rss feeds, all of you who use blogger, goto settings --> site feed --> and under "publish site feed", change the box to "yes". and somewhere on your blog, put a link to your feed.
thanks to letch for the point in the right direction.
once you've gotten your blog aggregator, you subscribe to your "feeds" by typing in the "feed" address. my address can be found by clicking
. for those of you who are using bloglines, you can click and it will automatically take you to the setup page to subscribe to the blog.
to find set up rss feeds, all of you who use blogger, goto settings --> site feed --> and under "publish site feed", change the box to "yes". and somewhere on your blog, put a link to your feed.
thanks to letch for the point in the right direction.
thought of doing these?
if you ever wanted to know what happens if you...
- put a whole cucumber into a waste disposal unit?
- feed a toilet roll into an electric shredder?
- freeze a tangerine and then hit it with a hammer?
- add bicarbonate of soda to vinegar in a condom?
- cook an egg using a blowtorch?
- expose a Lego man to extreme heat?
hailstorm
on sunday, there was a hailstorm. i didn't even realise that it was hailing until i heard the numerous thuds on the roof. my first thought was "why the hell is the rain soo friggin loud?? can't a guy bloody sleep in peace??" the last time i experienced a hailstorm was my 3rd day in sydney almost 5.5 years ago. sunday's hailstones were nothing compared to those. some of the bigger stones then were just slightly smaller than tennis balls. property damage was massive. by compaison, sunday's was like a minor snow storm. very gravelly looking hailstones. and after it ended, the streets were crowded with a whole bunch of sri lankan tamils. if someone had been enterprising enough to have printed "i survived the hailstorm - 05/09/04" i think they might have made a killing. people were posing in the streets taking photos like it was some kinda carnival. counted 3 cartoon like slips and guy decided to try sliding down the street on a cardboard. not a very successful endeavour that was. traffic was sloooooow through the streets. firstly because of the slippery conditions and secondly because of the human obstacle course. oh ya... a day later i'm walking around in just a long sleeved t-shirt, it's that warm... weird weather
the usage of f**k
had a thing for monty python today, so here is 1 of their songs. it is rated PG, so please highlight between ( and ) to make the text visible if you want to read it.
(Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the
English language today is the word fuck.
Out of all of the English words that begin with the letter "F",
fuck is the only word that is referred to as the "F" word.
Its the one magical word, just by its sound can describe
pain, pleasure, hate and love.
Fuck, as most words in the English language,
is derived from German, the verb "ficken", which means to strike.
In English, fuck falls into many grammatical categories.
As a transitive verb for instance:
"John fucked Shirley"
As an intransitive verb:
"Shirley fucks"
It's meaning's not always sexual.
It can be used as an adjective such as:
"John's doing all the fucking work"
As part of an adverb:
"Shirley talks to fucking much"
As an adverb enhancing an adjective:
"Shirley is fucking beautiful"
As a noun:
"I don't give a fuck"
As part of a word:
"Abso-fucking-lutely" or "In-fucking-credible"
And, as almost every word in a sentence:
"Fuck the fucking fuckers"
As you must realise there aren't too many words with the versatility of fuck.
As in these examples, describing situations,
such as fraud:
"I got fucked at the used car lot"
Dismay:
"Oh, fuck it"
Trouble:
"I guess I'm really fucked now"
Aggression:
"Don't fuck with me buddy"
Difficulty"
"I don't understand this fucking question"
Inquiry:
"Who the fuck was that?"
Dissatisfaction:
"I don't like what the fuck is going on here"
Incompetence:
"He's a fuck off"
Dismissal:
"Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself"
I'm sure you can think of many more examples.
With all of these multipurpose applications,
how can anyone be offended when you use the word?!
We say use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech.
It will identify the quality of your character immediately.
Say it loudly and proudly...
"FUCK YOU!")
(Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the
English language today is the word fuck.
Out of all of the English words that begin with the letter "F",
fuck is the only word that is referred to as the "F" word.
Its the one magical word, just by its sound can describe
pain, pleasure, hate and love.
Fuck, as most words in the English language,
is derived from German, the verb "ficken", which means to strike.
In English, fuck falls into many grammatical categories.
As a transitive verb for instance:
"John fucked Shirley"
As an intransitive verb:
"Shirley fucks"
It's meaning's not always sexual.
It can be used as an adjective such as:
"John's doing all the fucking work"
As part of an adverb:
"Shirley talks to fucking much"
As an adverb enhancing an adjective:
"Shirley is fucking beautiful"
As a noun:
"I don't give a fuck"
As part of a word:
"Abso-fucking-lutely" or "In-fucking-credible"
And, as almost every word in a sentence:
"Fuck the fucking fuckers"
As you must realise there aren't too many words with the versatility of fuck.
As in these examples, describing situations,
such as fraud:
"I got fucked at the used car lot"
Dismay:
"Oh, fuck it"
Trouble:
"I guess I'm really fucked now"
Aggression:
"Don't fuck with me buddy"
Difficulty"
"I don't understand this fucking question"
Inquiry:
"Who the fuck was that?"
Dissatisfaction:
"I don't like what the fuck is going on here"
Incompetence:
"He's a fuck off"
Dismissal:
"Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself"
I'm sure you can think of many more examples.
With all of these multipurpose applications,
how can anyone be offended when you use the word?!
We say use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech.
It will identify the quality of your character immediately.
Say it loudly and proudly...
"FUCK YOU!")
why i know no sane females
below is the gist of a conversation i had with my mom. to set the background, she and my dad went to the boom boom room (a club in sg which has sg's best (in my opinion) gay stand up comic). they decided to go because they'd heard a lot about his routine and wanted to check it out for themselves...
ma: you know i don't know how that place is still open
me: why?
ma: you know...got so many of these gay people around
me: ok..so what.. government is open about gays what
ma: ya la.... but still... you know, they were kissing in public
me: ya...so?
ma: ON THE LIPS!!!!!!!
me: ma.... that's what gays do.... they kiss each othe on the lips...amongst other things
after about 5 seconds of uncomfortable silence
ma: vish...are you...erm... you know.... erm......
me: ma... if you're asking if i'm gay, no, i'm not....
i've concluded that the reason i know no sane females is because my mother isn't sane, so she skewed the baseline...
ma: you know i don't know how that place is still open
me: why?
ma: you know...got so many of these gay people around
me: ok..so what.. government is open about gays what
ma: ya la.... but still... you know, they were kissing in public
me: ya...so?
ma: ON THE LIPS!!!!!!!
me: ma.... that's what gays do.... they kiss each othe on the lips...amongst other things
after about 5 seconds of uncomfortable silence
ma: vish...are you...erm... you know.... erm......
me: ma... if you're asking if i'm gay, no, i'm not....
i've concluded that the reason i know no sane females is because my mother isn't sane, so she skewed the baseline...
clean your house before looking for dirt elsewhere
in sg, i think the minimum wage is like $4/h. for those who complain about a "mcdonald's" salary, think about this. what i'm about to relate actually occurs in the US.
in most states, the minimum wage is like $5.50/h. i hear some of you say "but hey that's in US$s, so it translates into heaps more in terms of my $s." but think about it in terms of the economist's big mac index. click on the link if you wanna know what i mean. i don't wanna get into it. anyways, getting back to the story, in most states in the US, the employer does NOT have to pay that minimum wage if they can justify that the employee can make up that amount in other ways. let's use for an example, being a waiter. the employer will say that the waiter will get $X in tips on the average day. this amount is averaged over the hours they work per day, and they can end up paying the waiter something like $2/h. so, if business is slow that day, or it's generally off season for eating out, that's how much a waiter gets.
we have all these soscial activists campaigning against slave labour and sweatshops and child laboour in the 3rd world. i think they should take a look in their own backyard before they start looking overseas for trouble. seriously, if the company doesn't give your job priority, and thinks that you are dispensible, you'll probably end up with sweet FA of the american dream...
in most states, the minimum wage is like $5.50/h. i hear some of you say "but hey that's in US$s, so it translates into heaps more in terms of my $s." but think about it in terms of the economist's big mac index. click on the link if you wanna know what i mean. i don't wanna get into it. anyways, getting back to the story, in most states in the US, the employer does NOT have to pay that minimum wage if they can justify that the employee can make up that amount in other ways. let's use for an example, being a waiter. the employer will say that the waiter will get $X in tips on the average day. this amount is averaged over the hours they work per day, and they can end up paying the waiter something like $2/h. so, if business is slow that day, or it's generally off season for eating out, that's how much a waiter gets.
we have all these soscial activists campaigning against slave labour and sweatshops and child laboour in the 3rd world. i think they should take a look in their own backyard before they start looking overseas for trouble. seriously, if the company doesn't give your job priority, and thinks that you are dispensible, you'll probably end up with sweet FA of the american dream...
brother and sister together we'll make it through
i was walking into uni this morning, where i saw this homeless guy. how did i know that he was homeless? well... he was selling this socialist rag called "the big issue". it's an interesting project that provides a source of income for the homeless. the magazines are sold by the homeless and they survive on the proceeds of their sales. thing is, i wonder... how much of the $3 retail price goes to the homeless? of the amount that you donate to charity, usualy about 40% of it goes towards the administration of the organisation that's raising the funds. it might me just me, but i find something fundamentally wrong about people earning good bucks from their cut of that amount that's donated. but, if they don't organise fund raising events, then the people wouldn't even be getting that 60%. *sigh*
i find poverty quite depressing. the aussie government has in place a system of social welfare, but tons of people don't receive the aid they are due because of some teensy weensy bureaucratic loophole. it's very much the same in the US. my next post will be an alternative take on the "land of dreams"
i find poverty quite depressing. the aussie government has in place a system of social welfare, but tons of people don't receive the aid they are due because of some teensy weensy bureaucratic loophole. it's very much the same in the US. my next post will be an alternative take on the "land of dreams"
guaranteed: no orgasm..
"People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love???"
had a lecture yesterday on egypt. the country STILL practices female circumcision.up til 1996 it was COMPULSORY for all girls to get circumcised. that is truly an abhorrent act. i mean for guys, they merely cut off the foreskin. for females they cut off the clitoris!!! OUCH!!!!! fyi guys: the clitoris is the equivalent of the head of your penis. tons of nerve endings there. and the objective of female circumcision? so that females cannot experience pleasure from sex. the rationale is so that they won't have sex out of the bounds of marriage. who would want to have pre-marital sex or extramarital sex if all that you got out of it is pain and no pleasure?
as a point of note, female circumcision is not mandated by islam. it's been in practice in africa for a long time. it's basically an african custom.
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love???"
had a lecture yesterday on egypt. the country STILL practices female circumcision.up til 1996 it was COMPULSORY for all girls to get circumcised. that is truly an abhorrent act. i mean for guys, they merely cut off the foreskin. for females they cut off the clitoris!!! OUCH!!!!! fyi guys: the clitoris is the equivalent of the head of your penis. tons of nerve endings there. and the objective of female circumcision? so that females cannot experience pleasure from sex. the rationale is so that they won't have sex out of the bounds of marriage. who would want to have pre-marital sex or extramarital sex if all that you got out of it is pain and no pleasure?
as a point of note, female circumcision is not mandated by islam. it's been in practice in africa for a long time. it's basically an african custom.
