flowers
the doors of the lift slid open and a wheelchair was pushed out by a middle aged man. sitting in the wheelchair, a hunched nonagenarian. he'd been in and out of the hospital for the past 3 months. living in the hospital was as depressing as depressing gets. he needed to commune with nature, and so he was being wheeled into the garden. as the chair wound around the paths, he stretched out his hand and touched the leaves and flowers that came within his reach. soon, he rolled along beside an ixora plant in full bloom. "wait", he called out to his son-in-law who was wheeling him along. the chair came to a stop, and he stretched out of the chair and plucked a bunch of ixoras. with trembling hands, he slowly raised it up to his face and gazed upon them lovingly. handling the flowers like a prized possession, he gently placed them in his pyjama top breast pocket. after making his way around the garden, time had come to be returned to his confinement.
he rolled along into the ward. turning around to face his son-in-law, he said, "bring me to my wife. i want to see her". down to the TV room, he was pushed. as he peered around the corner and gazed upon his wife, his glazed over eyes lit up. he held his hand up and his son-in-law stopped pushing him. with his weakened arms gripping the rim, he slowly wheeled himself over to his wife. with concerted effort, he reached into his pocket and took out the ixoras, and placed them in the hands of his wife of 56 years.
3 days later, at his wake, in front of his picture lay a bunch of wilted ixoras...
he rolled along into the ward. turning around to face his son-in-law, he said, "bring me to my wife. i want to see her". down to the TV room, he was pushed. as he peered around the corner and gazed upon his wife, his glazed over eyes lit up. he held his hand up and his son-in-law stopped pushing him. with his weakened arms gripping the rim, he slowly wheeled himself over to his wife. with concerted effort, he reached into his pocket and took out the ixoras, and placed them in the hands of his wife of 56 years.
3 days later, at his wake, in front of his picture lay a bunch of wilted ixoras...
eulogy for my grandfather
words are inadequate when it comes to paying homage to any person. here is my humble attempt...
With the brief amount of time I’ve got right now, it would be impossible to sum up the life of the man lying before us. Shunmugam was his name. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had more than “6 faces”. I though, am familiar with only a few of those facets. Technically speaking, he was my grandfather. But really, he was a lot MORE than just my grandfather. Thatha was also one of my best friends and a confidante, to whom I frequently poured out my troubles. Despite the vast difference in our ages and the generational gap, we never had trouble seeing eye to eye on many things. I think, this was due more to the fact that Thatha’s philosophy on life was way ahead of his time, rather than me being all that mature. The fact that he never talked down to me, but treated me as an equal also helped. Advice from him was sparse because he subscribed to the belief that no advice is better than bad advice. However, when he did give advice, it was generally sound and insightful and very much appreciated.
Almost anyone who has spoken to him would be aware of his prowess in the English language. This was something that he was especially proud of, and he always took the opportunity to share his huge vocabulary with the people he spoke with. For those who don’t know, he’d generally slip in a rather bombastic word into a sentence and later he would ask the other person if they knew what that word meant. It was usually not a good idea trying to bluff him and say you know the meaning of the word, because he was liable to go “OK good. So what does that word mean?” His excellent command of the language was selflessly used to aid others. He was responsible for drafting lots of official petitions that were generally successful. I don’t know how many people, those here today and elsewhere, have benefited from Thatha’s deeds, but I’m sure that the goodwill that he has amassed would see him well in the hereafter.
Being the rather unconventional and irreverent man that he was, he was always telling us “Do not cry when I’m gone. Be happy for me. I’ve gone to a better place.” Having observed the suffering and helplessness that this once-upon-a-time independent man had gone through, I do indeed believe that he has migrated to a better place.
I know that it may be hard to respect Thatha’s wishes in this aspect, but let us do our best to abide by them and shed no tears. Instead of mourning his passing, let us celebrate the fact that Thatha has lived life to its fullest. Let us be grateful that our lives have been blessed by being touched by this beautiful soul.
With the brief amount of time I’ve got right now, it would be impossible to sum up the life of the man lying before us. Shunmugam was his name. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had more than “6 faces”. I though, am familiar with only a few of those facets. Technically speaking, he was my grandfather. But really, he was a lot MORE than just my grandfather. Thatha was also one of my best friends and a confidante, to whom I frequently poured out my troubles. Despite the vast difference in our ages and the generational gap, we never had trouble seeing eye to eye on many things. I think, this was due more to the fact that Thatha’s philosophy on life was way ahead of his time, rather than me being all that mature. The fact that he never talked down to me, but treated me as an equal also helped. Advice from him was sparse because he subscribed to the belief that no advice is better than bad advice. However, when he did give advice, it was generally sound and insightful and very much appreciated.
Almost anyone who has spoken to him would be aware of his prowess in the English language. This was something that he was especially proud of, and he always took the opportunity to share his huge vocabulary with the people he spoke with. For those who don’t know, he’d generally slip in a rather bombastic word into a sentence and later he would ask the other person if they knew what that word meant. It was usually not a good idea trying to bluff him and say you know the meaning of the word, because he was liable to go “OK good. So what does that word mean?” His excellent command of the language was selflessly used to aid others. He was responsible for drafting lots of official petitions that were generally successful. I don’t know how many people, those here today and elsewhere, have benefited from Thatha’s deeds, but I’m sure that the goodwill that he has amassed would see him well in the hereafter.
Being the rather unconventional and irreverent man that he was, he was always telling us “Do not cry when I’m gone. Be happy for me. I’ve gone to a better place.” Having observed the suffering and helplessness that this once-upon-a-time independent man had gone through, I do indeed believe that he has migrated to a better place.
I know that it may be hard to respect Thatha’s wishes in this aspect, but let us do our best to abide by them and shed no tears. Instead of mourning his passing, let us celebrate the fact that Thatha has lived life to its fullest. Let us be grateful that our lives have been blessed by being touched by this beautiful soul.
random check?!?!?!
i am at the boarding gate at sydney airport, about to flyback to singapore. ever since bloody 9/11, guess who ALWAYS gets "randomly" checked?? and on 2 consecutive arrivals, i got "randomly" checked by the SAME guy. could it be because i'm a brown skinned male, who to the unschooled eye, could pass off as a middle easterner or a sand nigger to be crude.. today took the cake. being the only brown mofo going through security at that time, i get to take off my shoes too, to be screened and the bloody machine still beeps when i walk through. guess what.. it was the rivets on my jeans that set it of :P and after making my way through that, i end up being given an experimental explosives screening, which involves rubbing 1 of those electronic sniffers all over me, and my bags. i say why don't they just screw off with the farce of calling it a random check and just call it a brown bastard check?? oh ya.. i guess that would be because they may be liable to be sued for discriminatory practices or something like that. BAH!!!
(i am slightly peeved due to extreme lack of sleep and early morning cold weather, hence the rant)
(i am slightly peeved due to extreme lack of sleep and early morning cold weather, hence the rant)
thatha
earlier this week, i had intended to write about death, and how i would like to face it. i never did get down to it, because i felt like i'd have given up on my grandfather... the sweetest, dearest man i've known.. he never talked down to me, and always treated me as an equal. his philosophy of life was liberal then, and even now i still think his ideas are quite forward..
to thatha... good bye... you're the friend and confidant that i could always turn to , no matter that i was otherwise friendless. and i'll try.. i promise i'll try not to shed a tear for you. i'll always love you
to thatha... good bye... you're the friend and confidant that i could always turn to , no matter that i was otherwise friendless. and i'll try.. i promise i'll try not to shed a tear for you. i'll always love you
love
i quite like these few verses from 1 corinthians : chapter 13.
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
But when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
But when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
questions
- is it only me or do others also start having existential crises as exams loom on the visible horizon?
- do i REALLY need to know where i'm coming from in order to know where i'm going to?
- god/the source/the maker doesn't care, does he?
- is anything absolute?
- what is my personal legend?
- [frivolous sidenote] doesn't billy joel look like paulo coelho? (sorry, no photoshop to resize images nicely before uploading which is why i've linked them, without putting the images up here.)
my confession
you placed your hand in mine
and gave your heart to me
asking only that i never let go
asking only that your heart be treasured
but the paths grew treacherous
and i dropped your hand
and i trod upon your fragile heart
with faith unwavering
you picked up your bruised heart
and returned it to my care
with tears overflowing
you tenderly laid your hand
back in mine
the tests grew numerous
and fail them i did
every one of them
frustrations, they grew
faith, it wavered
love was the only constant
a tiresome burden
shame, a constant companion
a reminder of my failings
the weight, it grew
as did the space between
and so, i walked
now, here i sit
writing this confession
to you, whom i love
and gave your heart to me
asking only that i never let go
asking only that your heart be treasured
but the paths grew treacherous
and i dropped your hand
and i trod upon your fragile heart
with faith unwavering
you picked up your bruised heart
and returned it to my care
with tears overflowing
you tenderly laid your hand
back in mine
the tests grew numerous
and fail them i did
every one of them
frustrations, they grew
faith, it wavered
love was the only constant
a tiresome burden
shame, a constant companion
a reminder of my failings
the weight, it grew
as did the space between
and so, i walked
now, here i sit
writing this confession
to you, whom i love
sex and driving... they don't mix
boys and girls. you are hereby warned of the dangers of sexual driving.
convergence, divergence or converging divergence?
if the state of our world could be expressed as a mathematical formula, could it be expressed in 1 formula or would more than 1 formula be necessary? and if it can be expressed by 1 formula, would the answer approach unity (convergence) or infinity (divergence) as time approaches infinity? however, if the multiple equations that model the state of our world cannot be reduced to a single equation, but to a few equations, would each of those equations approach unity (converging divergence)?
i realise that i might appear to have imbibed some controlled substance and am rambling away, but let's try and express the above in real, tangible form...
let us just look at it in terms of business organisations. with the rhetoric of "synergy" being bandied about, lots of mergers occur on a regular basis. extending that logic fully, would it be wrong to assume that the most amount of synergy can be created if ALL businesses were run by 1 body? of course for such an event to occur, lots of what seem like improbable conditions need to exist. one of them being the lack of competition.. or 1 competitor gaining such a large competitive advantage that the rest are left biting the dust.
another scenario is similar to the state we have now, except on a larger scale. pluralism being the keyword. lots of individual businesses, operating independent of one another. rationally speaking, not the most advantageous situation, since concepts such as economies of scale cannot be exploited to their full potential. but we've also gotta bear in mind that humans aren't very rational.
the third scenario would be a hybrid of the above 2 scenarios. having 1 global organisation would probably be very unwieldy and would suffer a whole lot of inertia. and having too many individual entities in operation would create unnecessary conflict, and unnecessary overlap. hopefully taking the best of both scenarios, a few organisations would exist. in such a scenario, the organisations would all have almost mutually exclusive spheres of influence, thus leading to almost nil competition between the organisations.
so, what will it be? 1 gigantic enitity, numerous small entities or a few medium sized entities?
[edit: my inspiration for the above post was a scene from "in good company", where the guy who takes over the company dennis quaid is working at makes a speech on synergy, and on an irrelevant point of note, i do think that scarlett johansson is really droolsome.]
i realise that i might appear to have imbibed some controlled substance and am rambling away, but let's try and express the above in real, tangible form...
let us just look at it in terms of business organisations. with the rhetoric of "synergy" being bandied about, lots of mergers occur on a regular basis. extending that logic fully, would it be wrong to assume that the most amount of synergy can be created if ALL businesses were run by 1 body? of course for such an event to occur, lots of what seem like improbable conditions need to exist. one of them being the lack of competition.. or 1 competitor gaining such a large competitive advantage that the rest are left biting the dust.
another scenario is similar to the state we have now, except on a larger scale. pluralism being the keyword. lots of individual businesses, operating independent of one another. rationally speaking, not the most advantageous situation, since concepts such as economies of scale cannot be exploited to their full potential. but we've also gotta bear in mind that humans aren't very rational.
the third scenario would be a hybrid of the above 2 scenarios. having 1 global organisation would probably be very unwieldy and would suffer a whole lot of inertia. and having too many individual entities in operation would create unnecessary conflict, and unnecessary overlap. hopefully taking the best of both scenarios, a few organisations would exist. in such a scenario, the organisations would all have almost mutually exclusive spheres of influence, thus leading to almost nil competition between the organisations.
so, what will it be? 1 gigantic enitity, numerous small entities or a few medium sized entities?
[edit: my inspiration for the above post was a scene from "in good company", where the guy who takes over the company dennis quaid is working at makes a speech on synergy, and on an irrelevant point of note, i do think that scarlett johansson is really droolsome.]
not even "don't mess with my heart".. it's "don't *bleep* with my heart"
i blogged about the "cover your ass" version of "don't phunk with my heart" by the black eyed peas over here. and at the end i was wondering if singapore would use the phunk or mess version. luckily i didn't bet on either, because they've decided to just censor out the word. BUT... the DJs still refer to the song as "don't phunk with my heart". wtf...
