so long and thanks for all the fish
...this is the way the world ends; not with a bang but with a whimper...
- The Hollow Men, TS Eliot
[edit: my blog ends here. my reason for stopping is simply that the reason i started this blog no longer holds. i might return to blogging in the future, possibly in a different avatar. thanks for reading, and thanks for the comments.]
love conquers all
took some time off from my exam studying to do some random musing and this is the product..
a lot of people look at the quote in the title and think that it means that if you feel strongly enough for a person, your unrequited love will eventually become requited. some others look at it and think of jesus and his advice to turn the other cheek and the whole non-violence movement. the interpretation i offer might not be new, but i can't be arsed to see if someone else has gone through it before. i see love as an entity. an entity with immense power. an entity that chooses a pair through whom it'll manifest its power. this pair need not be 2 people. could be a person and an idea or some inanimate object. what love does is to create an incredible force of attraction between the two. i guess this manifestation is what we call passion when it comes to ideas or objects and chemistry when it comes to people. love is responsible for people taking up a cause/idea or a person to the exclusion of all else. so much so that they become synonymous with the cause/idea, sometimes to the detriment of all other aspects of their lives. in the case of love for a person, think of the iliad and in it, the story of helen of sparta better known as helen of troy and paris.
love is a cruel mistress who can cause rational thinking and resolve to be chucked out of the window. all she needs is the initial euphoria to sink her hooks in, and she lets human nature carry on. whether it be pride (refusal to admit that maybe the idea is wrong), or lust (kids [edit: i meant kids as in the product of unbridled lust. not advocating paedophilia]). how indeed does one win against love?? but you know what.. sometimes that is the battle you want to lose.. the battle to love =)
a lot of people look at the quote in the title and think that it means that if you feel strongly enough for a person, your unrequited love will eventually become requited. some others look at it and think of jesus and his advice to turn the other cheek and the whole non-violence movement. the interpretation i offer might not be new, but i can't be arsed to see if someone else has gone through it before. i see love as an entity. an entity with immense power. an entity that chooses a pair through whom it'll manifest its power. this pair need not be 2 people. could be a person and an idea or some inanimate object. what love does is to create an incredible force of attraction between the two. i guess this manifestation is what we call passion when it comes to ideas or objects and chemistry when it comes to people. love is responsible for people taking up a cause/idea or a person to the exclusion of all else. so much so that they become synonymous with the cause/idea, sometimes to the detriment of all other aspects of their lives. in the case of love for a person, think of the iliad and in it, the story of helen of sparta better known as helen of troy and paris.
love is a cruel mistress who can cause rational thinking and resolve to be chucked out of the window. all she needs is the initial euphoria to sink her hooks in, and she lets human nature carry on. whether it be pride (refusal to admit that maybe the idea is wrong), or lust (kids [edit: i meant kids as in the product of unbridled lust. not advocating paedophilia]). how indeed does one win against love?? but you know what.. sometimes that is the battle you want to lose.. the battle to love =)
you've got to find what you love
steve jobs, co-founder of apple and pixar animation studios delivers an inspiring commencement address at stanford university. via vasud
disappearing act
exams start in a week, and so i shall be disappearing. no msn. no blogging. if possible, no net at all. back next month
loneliness
the sun has set. everyone has retreated to their houses. the shadows play behind curtains, signs of families having their dinner together. the sound of silence deafens like only silence can. the only sound around is that of the insects. the hums and the cricks. the ambient sounds in the landscape. tonight, it clogs the atmosphere. the otherwise silence of the night is broken by the high pitched of highly revved motorbikes flying past 2 roads away.
2 blankets envelop me. the outer of darkness. the inner of solitude. i look to the heavens and commune with the stars. i talk to myself, telling myself that this loneliness is transient. that soon i'll be in the company of those who love me. but try as i might, the constant thought is this... i am here.. alone.. over 8000 km away from the people i love. the longing to be touched is overwhelming. a hug when i most need it. i pick up my mobile and scroll through the phone book. it returns to the 1st name without me feeling the urge to dial any of the numbers. a phone call is a temporary salve that distracts the mind for as long as it lasts. like a narcotic that gives a high, as soon as it wears off, i am plunged once again into the depths of loneliness.
words, i do not care for... all i want is the presence and the touch. even if it may only may be the slight movement of the sofa in response to the expansion and contraction of the chest as my companion breathes. to reach out and touch someone... that is all i want at night.
2 blankets envelop me. the outer of darkness. the inner of solitude. i look to the heavens and commune with the stars. i talk to myself, telling myself that this loneliness is transient. that soon i'll be in the company of those who love me. but try as i might, the constant thought is this... i am here.. alone.. over 8000 km away from the people i love. the longing to be touched is overwhelming. a hug when i most need it. i pick up my mobile and scroll through the phone book. it returns to the 1st name without me feeling the urge to dial any of the numbers. a phone call is a temporary salve that distracts the mind for as long as it lasts. like a narcotic that gives a high, as soon as it wears off, i am plunged once again into the depths of loneliness.
words, i do not care for... all i want is the presence and the touch. even if it may only may be the slight movement of the sofa in response to the expansion and contraction of the chest as my companion breathes. to reach out and touch someone... that is all i want at night.
O Fortuna
though you might not know the name of the piece, i'm quite sure that it would sound familiar, since you probably would have heard it sometime in the past. but if you'd like a refresher, click on the title, and you get to download what i think is one of the most haunting pieces of classical music. whether you listen to it is your choice =). listening to "o fortuna" always leaves me with the following vision.
the 1st 3 lines, i imagine to be the call to war. the drum summoning the men-at-arms to rally around their master and the battle standards being unfurled. the following softer lines with the piano providing the pulse, seem to suggest the march toward war. the ups and downs suggesting uncertainty in the minds of the men. will fortune side them or forsake them for their foe? the uncertainty breeds a sense of impatience (suggested by the fast tempo of the piano) as they long to know their fates. the dogs of war are straining at their leashes, just waiting to be let loose.
at just after the 1:30 minute mark, the beat of the timpani and the increasing tempo weave an image of the armies sighting each other and beginning their charge, the slow trot of the cavalry building up into a canter, followed by a full gallop. the sabres have been drawn and levelled for the great charge. the intermittent drum beats suggest the fall of the cannonballs. at about the 2:15 minute mark, the introduction of the glockenspiel evokes images of the ordered plans for battle breaking down and the ensuing melee that has individual men calling for support, as the trumpet calls suggest.
p.s. "duel of the fates" from star wars episode 1 was inspired by this piece, and i think it's easy to hear the similarities
the 1st 3 lines, i imagine to be the call to war. the drum summoning the men-at-arms to rally around their master and the battle standards being unfurled. the following softer lines with the piano providing the pulse, seem to suggest the march toward war. the ups and downs suggesting uncertainty in the minds of the men. will fortune side them or forsake them for their foe? the uncertainty breeds a sense of impatience (suggested by the fast tempo of the piano) as they long to know their fates. the dogs of war are straining at their leashes, just waiting to be let loose.
at just after the 1:30 minute mark, the beat of the timpani and the increasing tempo weave an image of the armies sighting each other and beginning their charge, the slow trot of the cavalry building up into a canter, followed by a full gallop. the sabres have been drawn and levelled for the great charge. the intermittent drum beats suggest the fall of the cannonballs. at about the 2:15 minute mark, the introduction of the glockenspiel evokes images of the ordered plans for battle breaking down and the ensuing melee that has individual men calling for support, as the trumpet calls suggest.
p.s. "duel of the fates" from star wars episode 1 was inspired by this piece, and i think it's easy to hear the similarities
*relief*
i didn't realise how tense i was over my unconfirmed winter school enrolment until i got the e-mail from the summer school unit (it runs the winter school too). a perfect way to kick off the day, followed by a programming test in which, i do believe, i kicked some ass. relief really does feel like a weight has been lifted. i'm quite sure i felt light headed. last time i felt like that was after donating blood 2 weeks ago. same effect as being slightly tipsy, for me anyways. now the only stress contributor, if you can call it "only", are my upcoming exams.
i'd like to say thank you to all those who have been praying for me to get some good news on the winter school front.
i'd like to say thank you to all those who have been praying for me to get some good news on the winter school front.
*gloom*
there are people who let what little power they have consume them, and they stop believing in their humanity and believe that they are demi-gods of sorts. they oughta have their asses whipped (and not in an S&M kinda way) and their dicks chopped off.. unfortunately, since these infantile bureaucrats drunk with their own power realise the domain of their power, and they can go out of their way to really screw things up for certain unfortunate souls, they get their asses licked and their dicks sucked... such is life
